General Rulesīe the men’s issues conversation you want to see in the world. Moderators reserve complete discretion to maintain a productive conversation, including removing comments and submissions, and banning offenders. r/MensLib is a space for constructive discussion of men's issues. See our wiki for a more in-depth explanation of our rules. r/MensLibRary: The /r/MensLib Reading Groupįollow us on Twitter does feminism help men? Check out this list of feminist resources tackling men's issuesįalse Rape Accusations and Why We Shouldn't Fear a False Rape Epidemic Links Resources for Men Guide The MensLib Glossary of Common Terms To explore and revisit traditional models of masculinity, in order to promote the development of men as better and healthier individuals, participants in their relationships, and leaders in their communities. To model a healthy and effective men's issues movement, grounded in academic intersectional gender studies, that focuses on solutions, positivity, inclusivity, and mutual support. To examine and address issues men face, individually and in society, through discussion, information-sharing, recruitment, and advocacy. We consider ourselves a pro-feminist community. We recognize that men's issues often intersect with race, sexual orientation and identity, disability, socioeconomic status, and other axes of identity, and encourage open discussion of these considerations. Through discussing the male gender role, providing mutual support, raising awareness on men's issues, and promoting efforts that address them, we hope to create active progress on issues men face, and to build a healthier, kinder, and more inclusive masculinity. Welcome! /r/MensLib is a community to explore and address men's issues in a positive and solutions-focused way. The second step to getting behind the mask is learning a new way to talk to boys so that they don’t feel afraid or ashamed to share their true feelings./r/MensLib: For the Development and Well-Being of Men. Pollack says that “the starting place for parents-as well as for teachers and other mentors of our boys-is to become sensitive to the early signs of the masking of feelings. We, as a society, need to raise a healthier generation of boys and young men. Pressured by sports, their peer group, academics, and even the adults in their lives, our boys receive messages encouraging them to disconnect from their emotions and resolve conflicts through violence. The dissimilarities in the mask and the true inside feelings were astonishing. He tells them to write down what other people see when they see them (the mask) and then to write down what they really feel inside. A very poignant part of the documentary shows a teacher with a group of boys. They are taught that it is not okay to cry, to keep their feelings inside, and to appear tough. Our boys are taught at a very young age to wear a mask.
It is not surprising that the title of the documentary is The Mask You Live In and that one of the chapters of Pollack’s book is Inside the World of Boys: Behind the Mask of Masculinity.
How many times have you overheard these terms said to a boy from a parent, a teacher, or even a coach? How many times, as a parent, a teacher, or a coach, have you said these things to a boy? These gender stereotypes are truly hurting our boys. The film begins with the statements we often hear people saying to boys, such as stop acting like a girl, be a man, stop crying, man-up, etc. Experts in neuroscience, psychology, sociology, sports, education, and media weigh in, offering empirical evidence of the “boy crisis” and tactics to combat it. The film follows boys and young men as they struggle to stay true to themselves while negotiating America’s narrow definition of masculinity. I was recently able to view the documentary, The Mask You Live In (directed, produced & written by Jennifer Siebel Newsom). The fact that I am now a mother of two little boys, my interest in understanding the “boy code” has become a concern. Subsequently, I have run countless boy-focused groups and seen numerous male patients in my practice. In my graduate and doctoral program, many of my papers were focused on the expectations we have on boys about manhood and masculinity. Since reading Real Boys by William Pollack in graduate school, I have been fascinated to learn about the lives of boys.
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